hi, long distance is hard. it’s one of the hardest things i’ve ever had to do in my entire life. it feels endless, eternal. but the amount of distance can’t amount to the endless, eternal love I hold for this boy. i’ve never loved someone so much. i’ve never cried over someone so much. whatever pain I have to go through for now means absolutely nothing because I’m spending my future with him. the time we have to spend apart is so minuscule compared to the rest of our lives.

I just miss him. not knowing the next time we’ll be together isn’t exactly a stroll through the park. this arbitrary, wayward process and total uncertainty is what really gets me. it’s not either of our faults, the way these things happen. not knowing kills me. i don’t have that anchor that tells me “it’s okay, you’ll see him soon. x amount of weeks, months, hours.” it hurts. 

my head hurts today and my eyes are puffy. a result of sobbing in the early hours of the morning. I’ve had the urge to cry for the past week and I finally have so I made it a good one. now I want to cry all day, and my mood isn’t the best. we’re not always going to be in good moods. I’ve come to terms with feeling what I’m feeling and figuring out how to navigate through it. I might go on a walk. enjoy nature before the sun puts it to sleep. we’ll catch up.

I never post on here but I’ve decided I’m gonna change that today. to all of my followers, enjoy my thoughts. you’re here for a reason so I may as well give you a good one🔅